He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo


Bizarrely I recently found myself reading a dating/relationship self help book, which is not something I usually do, or really intended when I bought the book. I ordered the book "He's just not that into you", thinking it was the book which the film is based on, which technically it is, however I did not look much more into the book, as had assumed it was a fictional story, as the film is. 
When it arrived I soon realised my mistake (I should learn to do a little research before buying things), however I decided to read a couple of pages just to see what it was like - I found myself finishing the entire book that same day. I feel I've taken a lot from the book so it turned out to be a happy mistake.

I have got to say I am a hopeless romantic, and when I like someone, I tend to really fall for them, and the majority of the time they don't feel the same way, and if they do for a short amount of time it is most likely I scare them off because to put it bluntly strong feelings freak me out. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, like to see  the good in people and do not like to hold a grudge, which means some people see me as naive, and I often get taken advantage of because of my nature.
So this book was basically written for women just like me.

The book gave me a really clear perspective on my actions, the actions (or lack of actions) of others and most importantly my worth.

What I like most about this book is it is written by both a man and a women so you get the perspective from both genders, it's not often I get to the opinion of a straight male on my (non existent) love life, and girlfriends can often not want to hurt your feelings. Also your friends can (understandably) get a little fed up of you constantly asking advice and opinions on the same guy, so sooner or later you stop asking and begin to over think every little detail of you (non) relationship with the guy (or girl) in question, which certainly isn't healthy.

The style of writing throughout the book is very conversation so it's a quick easy read. A lot of the book is as letters to Greg (the male writer) who responds with advise and opinions which are very to the point - which I'd say if what you need a lot of the time you want to believe something which might not be the truth (it's easy to confuse the truth with what you might want).

I've got to say the book was most definitely an eye opener for me. It has made me realise I make excuses for people not being very good to me in hope that there might be some small part of them which may care for me, I over complicate things in order to find a way to see the good in someone - but it's as simple as people who care act like it, and people who don't, don't.

I am not going to say much more about the messages the book gives, incase any of you decide to give it a read, but I will say I would recommend this book to any girl who often find themselves let down by guys. I expected reading a self help book to feel a slightly belittling and patronising, I mean I'm not stupid (as I said the book isn't something I'd usually read), however it wasn't at all like that, it just had the balls to say what my friends might not. Rather than making me feel weak as I had expected reading this made me feel empowered and happier with myself.

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